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Friday, July 29, 2011

Do a research on cultures which still practise arranged marriages today? Why do they practise it? Would you have agreed to an arranged marriage? How a

Arranged marriages have been an important part of ancient culture, in nations all around the world whether in the West, or in Eastern cultures such as China and India, whether among the common people, or royalty. This tradition has largely vanished, but is still very prevalant in cultures such as India, Japan and China.


Arranged marriages are a very different concept from love marriages. An arranged marriage is more of a deal, or union between two families, as compared to a love marriage which is a union between two people who wish to spend the rest of their life with each other, largely dependent on feelings of mutual affection. Arranged marriages can be practiced between affluent families such as royalty, or even the most impoverished families. Usually, in royal families, arranged marriages were seen as a way to keep royal bloodlines pure, or used as a way to secure alliances between nations. Commoners would have arranged marriages so that their families would be able to maintain their good repute, marrying their children into families with equally good reputations, ensuring maintaining the family legacy. It would also be a way to secure children's futures, by marrying them into wealthy families, making sure they will not need to worry about financial difficulties. In some cases, children would even be married off as part of a business deal, or to resolve a debt or financial disputes. Evidently, arranged marriages can be seen as more of a practical decision akin to maybe a business contract, rather than one of affection.

Though arranged marriages may be a good solution to certain families' practical issues, and it is certainly possible for two people to develop affection after getting married, making two people who have probably never met and may not feel affection to have to stay with each other for the rest of their lives very closely to each other may give rise to certain problems. Many disputes and conflicts may arise, especially if the two people have very differing values, interests and perspective. Conflict can lead to violence, and will make both living in peace and giving birth to children practically impossible. In situations where people are married off in order to resolve disputes or as part of business deals, one party may probably have much less social standing and financial power than the other party. This could lead to that person being exploited physically, being forced to live as a servant, not an equal to the other person, or being looked down on in the family, making living unbearable for the person.

In some extreme cases, child marriages are arranged. In these cases, children are married off to other families, potentially not even to a person within their age group. This has much more negative effects than benefits. Most of the time, children are not mature enough to cope with having to suddenly live in a completely different environment, and deal with the responsibilities that come with marriage. This can hinder the child's development, especially for girls, who have to face the burden of being a wife, usually having to submit to their husband, or maybe even a mother. Making a child have to live with another person through such a relationship when he or she is not yet mentally mature enough and whose sexual instincts have yet to be fully developed can have untold consequences on the child's mental health, maybe even traumatising both parties. In some more serious cases, occuring more for child brides rather than grooms, the girl is usually abused and made to work as a servant and deprived of her human rights, and sometimes sexually exploited, possibly by a much older man. This will cause the bride a huge amount of trauma and suffering, both physically and mentally, which is especially true for mentally volatile children who are even less able to cope with the burden to work as a slave to another family. While other children are able to go to school and learn, make friends and enjoy their carefree childhood, these children have to stay in an unfamiliar household and live as slaves to another family, as part of a decision they had no say in. Child marriages are illegal in most countries, because they deprive these children of their basic human rights.

However, there is another angle to arranged marriages. On the more moderate side of the spectrum, some people consent to, or even actively look for opportunities to be match made. In these cases, the arranged marriage is completely consensual for both parties. People may want to have arranged marriages out of convenience, whereby they have no time to actively socialise and find a compatible partner. Hence, they will approach relatives or establishments that provide matchmaking services to help them look for a partner, by giving them their own profile, and the traits they desire in their partner. This will help them find a partner that is as compatible, in terms of interest, personality and background as possible. If two people match each others' criteria, then it is likely that despite them not knowing each other's personalities very well, they will soon be able to develop a close relationship and develop feelings of mutual affection. In other cases, people who live in an unfamiliar setting or simply want to find a compatible person without hassle will also use arranged marriages in order to find a person they are likely to be able to develop a long term relationship with. Though match making does not guarantee a happy marriage, for people who are unable to find a compatible partner on their own, it is a feasible and convenient option.

Personally, I believe that marriage is a sacred union that involves a lot of commitment from both parties, hence it is vital that the consent of both parties is obtained before they embark on such a deal. It is against basic human rights to force two people to have to live so closely to each other, and maybe even be parents, if they do not consent to it. It would cause trauma to both parties and in serious cases, a lot of hatred. In order to have a healthy relationship, the two parties may not have to be completely in love with each other, but they must be able to consent to all the roles that come with marriage, understand each other's feelings, and are able to compromise in order to best accommodate each other's opinions without causing any major conflict. Likewise, if the option of starting the marriage is given, the option of ending one must also be open to both parties. If the two people who partake in the marriage start to develop unpleasant feelings to each other such that they find it unbearable to continue in the relationship, they should be allowed the choice to initiate a divorce, as long as it does not do any very serious harm to other parties, such as their children, if the disadvantages of continuing the marriage outweigh the benefits.

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